20 April 2004

[KOER Synthetica Radio Transcripts]
Well, Ludo Cremers from Brown & Williamson is here, and frankly I'm surprised.

Just keeping it real, OE.

You're best known for your vocal sponsorship of deejay competitions, but you've come here to talk about the Client album.

Yes, OE, and I want to emphasize that we're all into multicultural, not just a single culture, despite what our detractors might say. White boys, even geeky boys like Fletch, have been known to spin a turntable or two. So it's natural that I'd want to evaluate Client.

OK, let me throw out some song names, and you tell me your reaction.



Very good. Brown & Williamson aims to please also.

But your opponents would claim that Brown & Williamson is like a prostitute, since the company screws its customers and devastates their health.

They're just not trendsetting. What can I say?

"Rock and Roll Machine."

Excellent. This song is about freedom, the freedom to be a trendsetting urban multicultural smoker, to keep it real, to be the menthol authority. It's about liberation and a world without lawyers. This is the hit.

"Diary of an 18 Year Old Boy."

Good, even if it is inaccurate.


Our research shows that the average 18 year old boy is not spending all day thinking about sex. The average 18 year old boy is spending all day thinking about smooth menthol taste.

Well, whatever you say. You are the menthol authority.

And don't you forget it.

Well, it's time to take some calls for Ludo Cremers, our newest album reviewer. Hello, you're on the air.

Am I on the air?


I have a question for Ludo Cremers.


Is the Marlboro Man trendsetting, urban, and multicultural?

Only in a retro way, no, and no.

Well, we're out of time, but we'd like to thank Ludo Cremers for stopping by.

06 April 2004

[KOER Synthetica Radio Transcripts]
And now another in our series of interviews - today we present the
Seldom Scene.


Now, according to your website you are Sugar Hill Records recording artists.

That's correct. We've released...um, what is it...nine albums with Sugar Hill Records. We've been very happy with them.

Well, I have some questions about your association with Sugar Hill Records.


Have you ever eaten chicken at the record label?

Um, yeah.

Did it taste like wood?

Uh...no it didn't.

Did you ever stay in motels/hotels with Big Bank Hank?

Who's he?

Say what?

Say what?

Ah, now you got it.

Got what?

This is very strange. Why would white rappers be carrying that ukelele thing?

I think you're thinking about a different Sugar Hill Records. Our Sugar Hills Records is not related to the rap group The Sugar Hill gang, or the 70's/80’s rap label of the same name. If you are looking for music by the Sugar Hill Gang or other artists from that label, please contact Rhino Records.

Oh. So you don't know the incredible Master Gee.


And you've never met Wonder Mike.

Can't say that we have.

Johnny Cash?

He recorded a song by one of our former members.

Was it a rap song?

Not hardly.

02 April 2004

[KOER Synthetica Radio Transcripts]
Here is Mr. Phil Collins. Welcome to KOER, Phil.

Thank you.

So what are you here to plug?

My website. philcollins dot co dot uk is a fascinating place with tons of information.

Such as?

The calendar entry "Got Job with Genesis" on August 4, 1970. Catchy, innit?

Uh, yeah.

And how about this fascinating tidbit? "In 1980 he played drums on Peter Gabriel's third solo album and at the singers request left his cymbals at home." Did you know what I had in my pocket?


MY CAR KEYS! That's an exclusive for your station.

I'm thrilled.

And you know what's best about my solo career?


No songs about lawnmowers.

I don't get it.

You will. And check this out: "Walt Disney asked him in to compose the songs to their latest animated feature 'Tarzan', the resulting single, 'You'll be in my Heart', was a major US hit and earned him a prestigious Oscar award." Isn't that amazing?

Many people have worked for the Disney company. Elton John, Cheech Marin-

No, not the company. Walt Disney. Walt Disney called me.

(pause) He's dead, Phil.

No he's not. They froze him and then thawed him. That's why Roy is so contentious. Walt even pushes his own lawnmower.

There you go with the lawnmowers again.

I will not be treated with this lack of respect!

(door slams)

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