10 October 2005

[KOER Synthetica Radio Transcripts]

Yes, I know that Devo's "Going Under" has been repeating over and over for the last 30 minutes. I'm sorry, but I stepped out of the booth to conduct a job interview. I think I've found a new traffic reporter that I want to hire.

Captain Jack Briscoe
Traffic Reporter

Cap'n Jack is KRUD's Helicopter Traffic Reporter. Jack flies a "missing" AH-64A attack copter armed with 30mm cannons and "Fire and Forget" Hellfire missiles for dispersing traffic tie-ups. "We don't just report the traffic, we CHANGE it!" chuckles the disturbing captain. Jack is a highly undecorated officer and veteran of the Gulf War, where he was credited with 21 confirmed kills (2 were actually enemy aircraft). Unfortunately, no told him the war is over.

Maybe I can hire some other people from this radio station. Apparently they got some guy named Hunter that works for them.

"The radio business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs.

There's also a negative side."

Hunter S. Thompson

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