KOER Synthetica Radio Transcripts

[KOER Synthetica Radio Transcripts]
It's about time that this esteemed ersatz radio station started doing a sports segment. If KWRM is going to cut Controversy down to one day a week or whatever, we're more than happy to fill the gap. So today I'm going to interview one of the youngest -

HEY, EMPEROR BOY! GOT ANY COOKIES AROUND HERE?

- one of the youngest sports heroes in the Inland Empire, Leonard Stob Junior.

WELL, IT'S ABOUT TIME!

Have a seat.

I'D RATHER STAND.

Now, Leonard, you are four years old, is that correct?

I'M FOUR AND A HALF! OR MORE THAN FOUR AND A HALF, WHATEVER IS BIGGER THAN A HALF.

When will you be five?

ON MY BIRTHDAY.

Leonard, why don't you take a seat? You seem quite jumpy.

UM, I'M AN ATHLETE! I GOTTA WORK OUT!

Watch where you're throwing those punches, Leonard!

DON'T WORRY. I HAVE COMPLETE CONTROL. AND EVER SINCE I'VE BEEN TAKING KICKSTART SPARK, I HAVE BEEN A BETTER ATHLETE.

Isn't that the nutritional supplement that has caffeine in it?

HEY, IT'S NOT STEROIDS OR NOTHING. IT'S PERFECTLY HARMLESS. I DRINK FIVE BOTTLES A DAY, AND I'M THE BEST ATHLETE EVER!

What sports do you compete in, Leonard?

RIGHT NOW IT'S JUST T BALL, BUT I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL SOCCER SEASON! I'LL GET TO RUN AROUND LIKE THIS. WHEEEEE!

Leonard has left the building. Now in honor of Brenda Spencer, we'll play some old Boomtown Rats for you...