09 April 2005

[KOER Synthetica Radio Transcripts]
Well, that was an interesting set. We just heard "The Guns of Brixton" by the Clash, U2's "Hold Me Thrill Me Kiss Me Kill Me," that old song "The L&N Don't Stop Here Anymore" by the late Johnny Cash, and "Fire" by the Ohio Players.

But we've just had a visitor drop into the studio - Allen David of Inland Valley Food. Allen, I understand that you're trying to make a purchase here in Guasti.

That's right, OE. I'm trying to purchase the Homestyle Cafe, 2902 E Brookside Rd, Guasti CA 91743.


I want to open a restaurant of my own.

What kind of restaurant?

It will be called D's.

Dee as in Dee Snider?

No, D as in the letter D.

Oh, D.

Yes, it will be a unique restaurant.

In what way?

Well, when most restaurants are graded, they try to get an A grade. Even though restaurants in Guasti isn't grading its restaurants yet, I anticipate that it will someday. And I want to get a D grade.

Say what?

My restaurant will be the only restaurant that purposely strives to get a D grade. It will be unique, and it will draw the alienated crowd. We'll make big business.

But have you looked at the County's grading system? There is no D grade. C is a score of 70 to 79, and anything with a score of 69 or below doesn't receive a letter grade, and is in fact closed. For example, the Truckadero at 10238 Cherry Ave, Fontana California was closed on January 6, 2005, but re-opened the same day. So even if you got the grade equivalent of a D, no one could come in until the restaurant was re-graded.

But they could come in when the problem was fixed, right?


So if I maintain the restaurant at a C level, and let it dip to D every once in a while, then I'd achieve my purpose, wouldn't I?

I guess so.

Good! I already printed the business cards with "D's" on them, and I wouldn't want to have to spent another twenty bucks in reprinting fees.

Heavens no.

I mean, there isn't any point in naming it C's restaurant. There's a bunch of restaurants in Ontario alone that recently got a C grade.

You're right. For example, the Tokyo Tokyo Japanese Restaurant, 990 Ontario Mills Dr Unit H, Ontario, CA 91764, got a C grade on March 15. The Iron Skillet Restaurant, 805 N Euclid Av, Ontario, CA 91762, got a C grade with a 73 on March 2, which was better than the 71 it got on January 19.

Oooh. Sounds like competition.

I guess. Well, let's play Foreigner's "Dirty White Boy" now...

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